2020 wasn’t the year any of expected to have. I think a majority of us (if not all of us) went into this year thinking it would be better than 2019. Sadly, that wasn’t the case and 2020 ended up being a really fucked up year. Pandemic aside, this year has had many challenges for me in my personal life, professional life, and in my academic life. I won’t be revealing all the details of my personal life, but my health has been the biggest issue this year, both physically and mentally. I haven’t taken the best care of myself and it’s caused many, many issues. I’ve stressed myself to a point where I don’t recognize myself anymore and that’s a problem. So if there’s one thing I’m taking away from this year, it’s that I need to prioritize my health more and that I can’t keep pushing issues to the side for whatever reason… because in the end, the consequences may be worse if I do. I won’t touch on the professional or academic struggles because are decently documented on this blog. So feel free to take a scroll through my blog and give some of those posts a read!
Amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of this year, I kept working toward the goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the year. So I will be briefly touching on them and giving them a grade/rating for how I think I did on them this year and why some goals fell short where others didn’t.
1. Write 500 words a day: Though I started off the year with this goal going strong, it tethered the rest of the year. I didn’t write 500 words every day and I didn’t reach my monthly word count most months, which definitely means I didn’t reach my yearly word count, which would have been 183,000 words. So my yearly word count ended up being 157,040 and that was over the span of 191 days out of the 366 days this year had. I’ve decided to take the 30th and the 31st from writing in order to mentally and physically prepare for 2021, so there won’t be any words written on those days. My best day of writing was 6,617 words and my worst day of writing was 41 words. 41 words… really, Michelle, really? That was the best I could do that day? I’m feeling pretty ashamed of that. However, that shame is definitely outweighed by the pride I’m feeling in having written 6,617 words in one day! If only I could write that many words every day of the week! So that led my percentage of success with this goal being 85.8% which leads to a grade of B I can’t believe just how far I came with this goal. I proved to myself that I can make the time and effort to write. Even though I didn’t hit the 500 words every day, I wrote more in 2020 than I probably have any other year! So I am determined to do even better in 2021 and keep the word count ball rolling!
2. Learn or try something new every month: I didn’t achieve this goal every month. I was doing really well with it… and then the pandemic hit, completely throwing all our lives for a loop! So I missed three months with this one, giving me a 75% (C) with this goal. I’m not happy with that, but when I tried to come up with a new thing for December, I drew a huge blank! So that didn’t help any.
3. One post a week: Thanks to my organization, pre-planning, writing multiple posts in a day, and several other contributing factors, this goal is at a perfect percentage. Some weeks I was even able to post more than one blog post! So I feel that should count for extra credit (so maybe this percentage is really 110). Honestly, this is the one I’m most proud of. Before this year, writing blog posts was a huge struggle for me. But now, it feels easier to come up with topics to write about and I feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts, opinions, interests, and more with all of you. So to everyone who has read, liked, commented, or followed this year, thank you so much for finding something about my writing that you like and taking even a few moments out of your day to read my posts. It means so much to me and I hope I can continue to keep your interest in 2021!
4. Finally finish a draft of a novel: This was one goal I didn’t think I would be able to accomplish this year. Honestly, with my mental and physical health being so terrible plus the overall craziness of the year, I got to a point where I felt like this one wasn’t achievable, but that I could slowly chip away at it. But on December 3rd, I completed the first (and very rough) draft of my novel! … and it felt weird. Truth be told, I still feel weird about it. It honestly doesn’t feel like I’ve really completed it and truth be told, I haven’t… but there’s a rough draft with a beginning, middle, and end! So I’m excited to do some work on it in January before getting beta readers for it in February! So this goal is 100% completed for having a draft, but probably about 1% completed overall.
So now that leads to 2021 and my hopes for the upcoming year. So I won’t be revealing my goals just yet (that’s tomorrow’s post), but I will share goals that aren’t related to this goal or my blog.
The biggest goal I have is to get my physical and mental health to a good place. Both took a beating in 2020 and I want to improve them because when I’m at my best both physically and mentally, I’m unstoppable. I’m a better worker, a better fiancee, a better friend, daughter, writer, etc. Piggy backing off this goal is to stress less. Stress has really gotten the better of me to the point where I was starting to self-sabotage and doubt myself, both of which led to a lot of issues in many aspects of my life. So I need to manage my stress better, communicate how I’m feeling better, and do what I can to reduce my stress in a healthy way.
I want to be a better person. I know we all have flaws and quirks that make us who we are, but some of mine have become a real issue and honestly, there are some days I really hate them and myself. I’ve realized that some of my flaws need to be worked on. Maybe they’ll never go away, but if I can tone them down to where they are more manageable, I think that will be a big help. For example- I’m an insufferable know-it-all and I ALWAYS have to be right. I hate to admit I’m wrong and it’s gone past being stubborn, it’s a full blown problem. I have to admit and accept that A- I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am and B- Sometimes we have to listen to the people in our lives because they’re only speaking up out of concern for your wellbeing. I don’t want to be stubborn to the point where I end up hurting myself or others with my actions, so I need to accept that I don’t know everything and that sometimes it’s OK to be wrong because being wrong is how we learn and grow. If we’re always right, we get nothing from it. So I definitely think it’s time for me to break myself apart and reconstruct myself into someone I can be happy with.
So there you have it- My 2020 goals all wrapped up and tied haphazardly with a bow. I say haphazardly because this year was all over the place and nothing about it was neat! But looking over it, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished this year (and I’m ignoring that little voice in the back of my head that’s telling me I didn’t do enough). I did so much more than I ever thought possible… and wait until you see what I have planned for 2021!
So until tomorrow, I hope all of you have a good night!