Fighting With Words- When Nothing You Say Comes Out Right

I don’t know how many other writers face this problem on a daily basis, but I know it’s a problem I face probably more than I should- Finding the right words. And I don’t mean with writing a story or a paper or any other writing pieces, I mean finding the right words with people in my life. I have said this many times in my twenty-four tears of life and I believed this to be absolutely true- I write better than I speak. Ask me to write a reaction to a book, play, movie, etc, and I can do it with no problem. Give me a journal to pour my heart out into and I don’t hold back, I write it all out as fast as I can. I can put my characters through emotional turmoil and make them jump through burning spiked hoops off a ten story building (I haven’t really done, I’m just trying to make a point).

But when it comes to talking to people about certain subjects like my writing (especially reading it when I know it’s not very good), feelings I have, things I’m dealing with, or anything else on a personal level, I mess up all my words. I find it so hard to find the right words to express myself when talking to someone, especially when it’s someone I like or care for (which is probably why I used to write crushes “love” notes instead of actually trying to talk to them). I was hoping as I got older it would be easier for me to tell people I like or care for how I feel about them, but as of right now, that hasn’t happened! I can tell the truth with no problem, but my complete honestly comes out blunt or tactless to some people and then they get angry with me, which isn’t my intention at all. The words just always sound better in my head than they do coming out of my mouth. Written words can last forever as long as they aren’t destroyed, but so can spoken words and for some people spoken words hold more meaning because you can hear the emotion in the person’s voice. I always have the emotion part done, just not the word part.

Does anyone else have this problem? Or has had this problem in the past? If so, how did you fix it? Or if you’re still working on it, what tips/advice have you been given? I am really interested to hear others experiences with this and hopefully get some helpful tips/advice on how to fix it!



  1. I get everything you are saying. First, it really does get better as you get older (I know you don’t want to hear that). It really helps to rephrase what the person said before you answer. “So, you think that…” That gives you those precious seconds to think before you speak. I am constantly talking with parents in my class, and I still say things in ways that are not what what is in my head, or the way I would write those words. It really does get better. Promise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m definitely going to try that sometime, thank you! And I do believe it gets better as you get older, but it really makes me wonder exactly how old I’ll have to be for it to get better!


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